My thoughts on the referendum . . . .

If I was in a beauty contest & I was a dead cert sure bet  to win & I'd starved myself for weeks, been primped, poked & prodded, moisturised, lotioned, potioned, toned, tanned & teased to within an inch of my life in preparation for it and I found out at the last minute I was beaten by some moose with a moustache & calves like a shot putter I'd be furious - how could this happen? Well, the pageant is using a new voting system where your 2nd & 3rd choices count. Some of the judges thought it may be fun to put hefty the cow as 2nd choice, some of the other judges are getting on in years, visually impaired and thought she was a stunner, others just didn't give their 2nd & 3rd choices much thought and ticked any old box (literally) so she gets in, takes the crown, sash & flowers & all I'm left with is an eating disorder and some false eye lashes. Which is why, for the sake of beauty, I'm voting no in the referendum.